YOU GOTTA LOVE RAW VEGAN EGG NOG

You asked for it. No, really; you asked me to make a raw vegan egg nog recipe.. so I did. And dang, I sure am glad. This is delicious, warming, smooth, sweet and satisfying all at once. My dad agrees.

I wasn't actually planning on making anything today because I had a late night last night and meant to get some studying done today. Last night I went dancing with my lady friends and then we headed to an artsy shin dig in a sketchy area of downtown (rent is cheap so the poor artists flock there) I was wandering around the streets of downtown in my pimpin' jacket (it's giant, it's green, it's fake fur), a homemade turban to keep the rain off my glasses, and I was a little bit ahead of my friends... I am pretty sure I was mistaken for a homeless male drug addict. Milestone.

ANYWAY, I don't know where I was going with that, let's get back to decadent drinks and find that holiday spirit.

Although as a kid I loved egg nog because it was sweet and creamy and rich; as I grew older and made the choice to be vegan, this beverage became one of the first things took off my "I want this" list. Safe to say it was moved over to the "Never again" collection of foods. I think we all know it's not even remotely healthy, but we should also acknowledge that the stuff you buy in the grocery store is just weird. I mean, I'm sure the original homemade kind was a bit better; but now the generic variety is totally processed and totally suspicious.

There is really no reason to guzzle the milk of another species (mixed with the potential fetuses of ANOTHER species, mixed with processed white sugar) when you have this recipe! Seriously, check out the ingredients on egg nog next time you're tempted to buy it. Then think about what they really are. Yuck. 

OKAY I AM SORRY I'M BEING ALL WEIRD AND NEGATIVE TODAY. I personally don't tend to dwell on the ickiness - it's a word, shhhh - of animal products, and instead like to focus on the positives of healthy whole foods and plants. I guess my mind is trying to balance it out in this post. Ultimately I am not here to preach or tell you how to live your life and what to eat. I am merely here to humbly provide some simple, easy-to-make, mind-boggling delicious recipes. I hope you can appreciate and understand that. No time for haters up in here.

I am hoping these photos look okay to you, because I edited them on my tiny little lap top screen instead of the large monitor I usually use. The colour is also funky on my lap top screen so my fingers are crossed that these pics aren't terrible. Please forgive me if they look gross. I just realized how completely trippy it is that I am writing this in my bedroom right now, just typing out my thoughts as they come into my brain, and soon YOU are going to read them! And probably think "Wow, who IS this girl? She's lost it. I'm outta here."

But wait! I made you egg nog!

RAW VEGAN EGG NOG

1 cup pecans
3 cups water
1 cup dates
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract 

Blend it all up. Use hot water if you want a warm drink. It should have the consistency of egg nog but if it's too thin, add more dates or pecans. If it's too thick, add more water. Change the spice amounts as you like. Mmm... This will serve around 4 people.

chocolate caramel tart with orange & sea salt

This turned out exactly as I had hoped. Score! The other day I got the image of this dark chocolate, decadent, sinful-looking tart with a hidden layer of caramel in my head and couldn't get rid of it. So I made it for you. I decided to add some orange juice and zest for the holiday season (oranges are christmas-y, right?) and also sprinkled on some sea salt because frankly it makes everything better. Then I realized it looked like it was snowing on my tart! Totally intentional. 

I cannot BELIEVE it is Christmas Eve today. I don't usually pay a lot of attention to reality but this year I've been away in my mind more than normal because I hardly even realized it was December. Woah, when did that happen? This evening we are going to a have nice dinner with family and other loved ones, as is the conventional custom I suppose. Tomorrow we're getting up early to systematically (yes, the von Euws have a system) unwrap our gifts to and from one another.

I am excited of course, but mostly just looking forward to spending the holiday with my boyfriend. My gift for him is below - a mug I drew all over, which I will fill with my poems. I don't really want any other presents except him! Having said that, I AM running low on virgin coconut oil... and I'm always down for some books on philosophy.

This tart is going to be dessert tonight and I can tell you right now - it's a keeper. Who doesn't like chocolate and caramel, especially when you don't have to feel guilty about eating it? Only crazy people. But don't judge them - they have lost their sanity. You can't trust anyone who doesn't like caramel.

I wish you the merriest holiday with whoever you spend it with. I hope you are able to surround yourself with positive energy, good will, love and raw vegan tarts. That is what I will be doing. Merry Christmas, my beloved and cherished readers! You are precious to me. (But don't worry, I won't go Golem on you). 

chocolate caramel tart with orange & sea salt:

Crust:

2 cups almonds

1 1/2 cups dates

Caramel:

1 cup dates

1 cup water, use as much or little as needed to get a thin caramel consistency

2 tablespoons chia seeds 

1 tablespoon agave nectar

1/8 teaspoon sea salt

Chocolate:

3/4 cup cacao

2/3 cup maple syrup

2/3 cup melted coconut oil

juice and zest from 2 oranges

1 teaspoon vanilla (optional) 

To make the crust: pulse the nuts in your food processor until crumb-sized, then add the dates and pulse until everything sticks together. Press into the bottom of a tart tin and put in the freezer. 

To make the caramel: blend all ingredients (you can do this in the food processor) until smooth, adjusting to your desires. Spoon into the bottom on the crust and put back in the freezer. 

To make the chocolate: blend all ingredients in your food processor until smooth. When the caramel in your crust is solid, spread the chocolate on top and put back in the freezer. Let it stay in there overnight, then garnish with sea salt and orange zest and serve.

chia caramel pecan pie with cinnamon chocolate sauce

I am so proud of myself. Today I - Emily von Euw - woke up, wide-eyed and ready to use my noggin' - at 7:30 AM. I have not risen so early in approximately a year or so. Oh, stop that applause now, that's enough. Why in the world did I break from my slumber so early? To write a final exam. I think I did well. Now we will move on to more important matters...

Pie.

This pie actually began as butter tarts. In my effort to rawify all the holiday food favourites, I remembered a Canadian Christmas classic: butter tarts. As you may be able to guess by the name, they aren't the healthiest thing you can put in your stomach. They are pretty much white flour, sugar, butter, raisins, more butter and more sugar. Time for me to step up to the plate and see what I can do (I like to pretend I'm a superhero.) 

The idea was to make a basic raw crust, then make a raisin caramel filling and add in whole raisins. I was going to make them all cute little individual tarts like the real thing, but then I got lazy. I didn't feel like shaping out as many tarts as I had made crust for so I decided to make a giant butter tart instead. Then I saw some pecans and I'm like "Hey! If I throw pecans on top of this baby, I can call it a pecan pie and no one will know! HAH!" Except I just told you.. So there goes that plan. This pie is a deceitful liar that can't be trusted - just eaten mercilessly. 

The filling ended up being a caramel sauce but it was too sweet and dense so I added gelled chia seeds for bulk and to dilute the sweetness; it turned out wonderfully! I made a simple chocolate sauce for contrast, and had leftovers so I made one baby tart and filled it with chocolate sauce. Secret treat for later. 

chia caramel pecan pie with cinnamon chocolate sauce: makes one pie

Crust:

2 cups nuts or raw buckwheat flour (I used pine nuts and cashews)

1 cup dates or prunes

1/2 teaspoon salt

Filling:

1 cup raisins

1/2 cup dates

1/4 cup melted coconut oil

6 tablespoons chia seeds mixed with 12 tablespoons water

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

more water, if needed

1/2 cup more raisins

Cinnamon chocolate sauce:

1 tablespoon cacao 

1 tablespoon nut butter or melted coconut oil

1 tablespoon agave/maple syrup

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

To make the crust: pulse nuts in your food processor until they are crumb-sized. Add dates and salt and process until it stick together. Press into the bottom of a tart plate. Put in fridge.

To make the filling: process all ingredients - except the last 1/2 cup of raisins - until smooth. It will taste like a divine entity has landed in your mouth, plus chia seeds. Stir in the 1/2 cup of raisins by hand and pour into your crust. Let it set in the fridge then decorate with pecans, pumpkin seeds and chocolate sauce. Or not. 

To make the chocolate sauce: mix all ingredients together until smooth. Drizzle onto your pie. Eat it while

listening to this song.

raw egg nog for the holidays

This stuff "rawks" - ha-ha, laugh away at my hilarity - especially with the sneaky addition of a little rum. I can confidently assure you will not miss the uncooked hen periods or puss-filled protein secretions from sad bovine mothers (that one normally experiences with conventional egg nog). oh, those are eggs and milk if  you didn't catch that. 

Nothing nasty here, just a bit nutty. I began by making pecan milk (you wouldn't believe how easy it is to milk a pecan, they're agreeable little guys!) then added cinnamon and nutmeg until it tasted right. I did use a can of coconut milk which is not strictly raw but it makes it so much better. If you're looking for a creamy, thick egg nog look-alike - do the coconut milk. If you just want a nice holiday drink, don't worry about it. I blended in a few dates for sweetness and finally finished it off with some rum to make it a REAL drink. I know, I know - rum is not raw, but it sure is fun. 

Following my pumpkin pie and gingersnap recipes, you may have noticed a holiday theme. That's right! I am theming myself now... although I don't think theming is a word. In any case - I'm am rawifying the holidays!

Also, not a word. 

Nevertheless, you will continue to see your holiday favourites magically morphing into wonderfully vegan, raw versions of themselves. Everyone will rejoice in the animal-free revolution of Christmas dinner! The turkeys are planning a rebellion and I suggest you get on their side, where there's raw egg nog, pie, cookies, gravy and alcohol. 

raw nog: makes enough for you and your friendly friends (about 4 or 5 people)

1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 cup pitted dates
3/4 cup pecans
2-3 cups water
4-5 shots of rum (1 shot is about 44 ml) 
1 can coconut milk (optional but recommended) 

Blend everything together in your high-speed blender. Add the rum one shot at time to make sure you don't make it too strong and render all your guests unconscious by the end of the evening. If you don't use the coconut milk, just make up for it by adding 1/4 cup more of pecans and 1 cup more of water. But the coconut milk makes it really creamy and delicious... just saying. Change it as you desire... then CHUG! 

Kidding. 

One last thing - I want to take a moment to wish dear Dave Brubeck (I desperately hope you know who he is) a peaceful sleep in the afterlife... or wherever we go... or don't go. He was an amazing musician and his genius will be missed!

raw gingersnap cookies

Before going vegan I was not the biggest fan of conventional gingersnaps to be honest with you. But now that I have made a raw version I'm in this holiday cookie's heaven! I mean, when I actually think about it - what is there not to drool over? Cinnamon. Ginger. Dates. Make it into a cookie and sprinkle a bit o' raw sugar on top. Salivating at every word. These are just as good as the baked, processed version but you can feel completely proud of yourself for giving these to loved ones over Christmas, because not only are they delicious - they are healthful. I'd rather give gifts that promote health, sexiness and long life than ones that cause heart and weight problems.

Blunt but true. 

raw gingersnap cookies: makes a dozen or so

2 cups raw flour (grind raw rye berries or oat groats into flour in your blender) OR almond flour
1 1/2 cups dates or raisins 
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons of fresh, peeled ginger
1-2 teaspoons cinnamon powder 
1 tablespoon unsulphered molasses 
2 tablespoons maple syrup (optional) 
2 tablespoons melted coconut oil
raw sugar to garnish

Blend all ingredients together in your food processor until it forms into a delicious ginger-cinnamon ball of raw goodness. Stick this in a bowl in the fridge for an hour and then shape it into as many little balls as you desire. Put these on wax paper and sprinkle on raw sugar. Stamp each one down with the bottom of a jar. Refrigerate overnight or at least for a few hours, then eat. Mmm. Another option is to dehydrate for a few hours so they actually "snap". 

HEY (update): one of my readers is smarter than me and passed on this idea: you can make gingerbread men with this!